Thursday, December 27, 2007

Boch & Sabes, Act I, Scene I

Setting: a table in the corner at Starbucks

Boch: Nice computer.
Sabes: Pretty cool, huh? I just downloaded The Best of Bachman-Turner Overdrive!
Boch: Yeah? (sips his straight black coffee)
Sabes: Digitally remastered!
Boch: (clears his throat) Well, I made some notes, here.
Sabes: What the hell is that?
Boch: Huh? Uh, you mean this pencil?
Sabes: Yeah. Dig that out of your golf bag, eh?
Boch: (sheepishly) Well, yeah.
Sabes: Fer cryin' out loud, Bru, get some class. You need a laptop. (sips his latté)
Boch: Shucks, Bri, I'm old school. Now if ya could just take a look here. (passes paper)
Sabes: What is this? Old Yahtzee scoresheets? C'mon, man. Get some real paper!
Boch: (doggedly) Well, I'm figurin' Roberts will lead off.
Sabes: Hello! Duh! That why I signed him! (shakes his head disgustedly)
Boch: Yeah, OK. Uh, and Omar can hit second. Bunt, move the runner over, you know.
Sabes: He saves us AT LEAST a hundred runs a year with his glove!
Boch: Now the third spot's kind of a toughie.
Sabes: At least a hundred! AT LEAST!!!! (bangs on table, spills latté)
Boch: Ya got yer drink all over my notes, Bri. Take 'er easy.
Sabes: (angry) You want my job? Huh? Well??? You and that Lunatic Fringe? Huh?
Boch: (chuckling) Now, just take 'er easy. I like bein' manager. My uniform still fits.
Sabes: (mollified) We still got Durham.
Boch: Been meanin' to talk to you 'bout that, Bri.
Sabes: Third. He hits third.
Boch: That don't give the kid much of a chance.
Sabes: Kid? What kid?
Boch: Frandsen.
Sabes: Oh, him. Send him to the Instructional League. Never mind him.
Boch: Now cleanup, I figure we gotta stick with--
Sabes: Bengie. Mr. Clutch. Our MVP! Now that was a move. Take that, Fringers!
Boch: That means the new fella--
Sabes: Rowand.
Boch: Yeah. He hits fifth.
Sabes: Centerfield.
Boch. Yeah. He hits fifth.
Sabes: Centerfield, dammit!
Boch: Uh, yeah, sure Bri, centerfield.
Sabes: Now, I figure he hits behind Bengie. That'll cut into his RBI total, what with Bengie being the RISP-Meister.
Boch: RISP?
Sabes: Runners in Scoring Position! Bru, you have to get up to speed, here. This is modern baseball. We use a LOT more complicated stats than the old days. That's why you need a computer!
Boch: And fer, uh, what'd ya call it? Downloadin' music?
Sabes: (computer beeps) Oh, I got an email!
Boch: Yeah, I like that new feller too, he's a hard-nosed ball player.
Sabes: No more prima donnas, Bru. Soldiers! All soldiers!
Boch: (under his breath) Well, veterans, anyway.
Sabes: Was that a wisecrack?
Boch: Uh, no sir.
Sabes: OK, were done. That was Baer. I have to get to the office.
Boch: (leaps up eagerly) Ya gonna git that thirdbaseman I wanted!
Sabes: (angrily) Keep your pants on, man, this a public place!
Boch: But we need a--
Sabes: I decide what we need! Now you just work on the rest of that lineup, I'll expect it on my desk by the end of the week! And next month we talk about pitching!
Boch: Shoot, I figured Cain, and Link, and Zito--
Sabes: NEXT month, dammit! Finish that lineup!


Friday, December 21, 2007

Roger, Pete, Barry & M.C.

Charlie Hustle and The Rocket are getting some airplay these days, Roger for his prominent place in the Mitchell Report, and Pete for his never-ending quest to rehabilitate his reputation. M.C. is going to offer his take on these characters: every time I hear them speak my knee-jerk response is always "shut the hell up!" Man, they are clowns. But, you know what? That's cool. I'm not paying jocks for eloquence. (I'll leave that--eloquence, that is--to the bloggers.) I have a sadistic desire to see Roger thrown under the Steroid Bus, because my man BLB got royally screwed by the whole mess, but I learned forgiveness in Catholic school. So, you know something Rog? I'm cool. If you skate, you skate. It'd be nice if Barry got a break, but I'm through hoping for sanity and perspective. And speaking of perspective, Ol' Pete is using the "I ain't as bad as those fellers" defense, a tried-and-true rhetorical device, one I've employed many times myself when defending some point in an argument. Funny thing--he has a point. He may be a low-life and a dumbshit, but he was one hell of a ballplayer. And he should be in the increasingly irrelevant Hall of Lame (Bowie Kuhn? Really? Yeeesh!). As far as MLB goes, he got his punishment, his lifetime ban. And he probably deserved it, but I'm reserving judgment on that after seeing what MLB (and the BBWAA, for that matter) considers "evidence." (A must read: Bill James' Whatever Happened to the Hall of Fame). Anecdotally, it is hard to picture another player in my lifetime who attacked the game with Rose's abandon, and whose will to win bordered on psychotic. Damn, if I had been a Reds fan I would have LOVED Rose. Another Giants fan I knew once said "Bonds is exactly the kind of player I would hate if he played for someone else." Yeah, no kidding. You always hate the guys who kill you (hello, Ron Cey). Betting on your team is a worse sin than PEDs, Pete, sorry. But, I'm willing to cut you some slack because I don't believe you "conspired" to destroy the "integrity of the game." Nor do I believe you were a enough of a high-roller for organized crime to take you seriously, or that what happened "between the lines" was ever realistically threatened. You were just another clueless schmuck. With each passing day, with the silly utterances from Clemens, Inc., Jayson Stark, Gene Wojciechowski, Jim Bunning, Jim Bouton, and the posturing smugness from Curt Schilling, I think you have plenty of company.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Snakes Score

I don't care how many prospects Billy Beane got for Dan Haren, the Snakes came away with one of the best pitchers in the game. This guy is the real deal and this deal changes the balance of power. Brandon Webb and Dan Haren match up to our dynamic duo punch-for-punch, and the experience factor puts them over the top. Hell, Webb has won a Cy and Haren started the '07 All-Star game! Our boys are good, but they've yet to establish that kind of track record. I know it is silly to talk about "balance of power" when we will be lucky to stay out of last place and the Snakes will be defending a title, but we can always dream, no? We will get some dream match-ups in our series against AZ: Webb vs. the Hurra-Cain, Haren vs. the Linkster, etc. Looking forward to that.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Dave gets it right

Dave Zirin's article, The Mitchell Report: Absolving the Owners, is required reading. If you aren't tuned in to Mr. Zirin, you are missing out.

Find him at Edge of Sports. Check out the archives as well.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


Yeah, too many years (FIVE!!!!) and, I've no doubt too much money (not that the SFG's can't afford it).


No one after the age of 30 is worth a 5-year deal. Criminy!!! Once again we overpaid (FIVE YEARS???) for a good (but not great) ballplayer.

We need a 3B and a 1B. Maybe this means a package with Roberts, Lewis, Davis, Schierholz, etc. is in the works. Look, he's a good player, but FIVE YEARS? C'mon. Our ballpark will hurt his power, and his "glove prowess" will decline rapidly with age (and CF defense is not more important than a power-hitting 1b).

At least we did not trade Cain or Lincecum.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Winter Meetings: "Whew!!"

Yeah, that's my reaction. "Whew" we did not trade Matt Cain or Tim Lincecum. At this point, we have so many holes, that trading one of the two best young pitchers in the game just doesn't make sense. Matt has already established himself as a 'top-tenner,' and Tim is flashing signs of brilliance every time he gets on the mound. Sure, either one of them could flame out. But other than a sure-fire young super-stud (like Prince Fielder, the NL MVP in my book), there is NO ONE worth giving up on these guys for. So, "whew," we dodged a Winter Meetings bullet. Sabean didn't do anything, so he didn't do anything dumb.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Another one bites the dust

After Torii Hunter signed with LAA, it was not surprising that the other CF signed with LAD. I would have taken a chance on Jones, and I'm glad we passed on Hunter. Jones is a bopper, his big stick could have helped us. I don't have any regrets about NOT signing him, but the fact that the DODGERS signed him is bad. They have improved their team. We have not. At some point, we have to address our power issue, or, I should say, LACK of power issue. If Cain and Lincecum are untouchable, and I hope they are, then we have to be willing to deal the rest of our young arms (Hennessey, Correia, Sanchez, Wilson, etc.) for a young hitter or two. I'm OK with avoiding old, injured guys like Scott Rolen (although he would be a huge upgrade over Feliz), but I'd take a chance on him if we can't land someone like Edwin Encarnacion. Rolen is a better player, of course, but Encarnacion is only 24 and still has some upside. I hope we do something smart and I'm terrified we will do something dumb.

Check out this site if you have time for some serious nerd analysis of The Linkster.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Rumour Humour

Here's what I've stumbled upon recently:



Get to work men--what does it all mean???

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Matt or Tim: Part One- The Intangibles

(Warning: This is posted by the "other" author. Please excuse the drop in eloquence, I don't have the gift of gab like the the Irishman.)

Clearly the biggest source of hope (perhaps the only one!) for all Giants fans is the dynamic duo of Cain and Lincecum. It is also obvious that the key issue to be resolved is whether we give up some pitching to get some much needed position talent. So far it looks highly unlikely that we will part with either Matt or Tim (thank the gods!), but still it makes you wonder...if we did decide to part with one of "the chosen ones", which should it be????

Since I am not prepared to do a statistical analysis (maybe MOC can do that for a followup post), I thought I would approach it by looking at the intangibles, in other words, gut feelings with little or no justification. So, here goes...

Most likely to not get injured:
Yikes. Scary topic, but always there with young pitchers. I suppose the experts may cringe at Lincecum's motion, but I get the sense that it is a carefully thought out mechanism. The fact that he doesn't ice down his arm is interesting. Cain's build would seem to give him an edge, but his body seems more "high maintenance." Don't ask me where I came up with that.
Advantage: Tim

Most likely to have the mental edge, domination factor:
After the year Cain was subjected to, you have to give him the edge here. That has to make you tough. Matt has that dumb country boy thing going for him. Seems like I remember him getting real mad towards the end of last year...he yelled at somebody rounding the bases, or something (somebody help me out on that one, please). Tim is only as nasty as his stuff, Matt has more than that. A couple high and tight pitches in big situations and he could get a Drysdale mystique started.
Advantage: Matt

Most likely to get the "glory":
By this I mean the hearts and souls of the fans, the acclaim, the awards; that kind of stuff. I think Matt's working man persona hurts him here. Also not having a nickname (an issue that this blog has tried to address) is a big handicap. I get the sense that Tim might be more likely to get the flashy stats (strikeouts, low BA) and we all know how the media loves that. Tim seems like a better photo op and that's probably the difference maker here.
Advantage: Tim

So, for no real reason at all, my final determination is that, in the highly unlikely event of a trade involving one of our two golden boys, I would ship out.....Matt Cain.

Gosh, I almost feel like I should be fired from the staff here at "Raising (Matt) Cain." Sorry. Perhaps, in part two - The Statistics, I come up with a different choice.

So what do YOU think??? What does your GUT tell you?

There are Others

A quick google about our boy revealed a truth only hitherto hinted at: there are other Matt Cains.

Here's one:

which I found via

What will our boy do when he becomes a household name? Will he have to buy his domain name from this fellow? The horror! The horror!