Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Extra-inning torture

Pat Burrell delivered another timely sacrifice fly, this one bringing home the winning run against the Cubs in the 11th inning. The Giants spent the evening being much too polite--"no, I absolutely insist that you score first" and "why, I wouldn't think of scoring here" and all that. Feint, jab, dance away, feint again, clinch, shove, miss, jab, feint, bell. It was like junior high schoolyard fight where neither participant really wants to be there and but tries to look manly and not embarrass himself. Like I said, torture.

But winning torture! That's the big one right there. The Giants, despite the empirical success of July (score 5+ runs per game, go 20-8), seem convinced that scoring runs is highly overrated. "Runs, schmuns," they say, causing this boy no end of torture. And now they decide to take a page from The Big Book of Padre by having their bullpen toss 5-1/3 scoreless innings! I didn't think that kind of improbability could get distributed around, you know? I figured the Padres had the corner on the Defying Baseball Odds, Common-sense & Logic market, and weren't going to share. Maybe they just forgot to yell "Corner on Improbables!" and so the trading Pit is still open.

You can play Big Ball, Little Ball, Medium Ball, Ugly Ball, Pretty Ball, or Goddamn Fookin' Weird Ball, but whatever you play, play Fookin' Goddamn WINNING Ball!

--M.C.


p.s. That bobblehead does not look like Jerry Garcia. More like Moishe, The Singing Rabbi (what, you didn't see that movie?). And I had to turn the sound off during the broadcast when Bill "I'm still a goddamn annoying motor mouth" Walton was in the booth.

4 comments:

Zo said...

I liked it when Jon asked Flem what his favorite Dead song was. His response, "Ummm...there are so many to choose from." Jon asked him if he followed the Dead on tour. Flem mentioned that he was unable to, being only 7 at the time. I think he was guessing that the Dead were at the height of their popularity in the 1980's. Baseball fandom is like Grateful Dead fandom in at least one way. You can go to a Giants game or a Dead concert and say that you have been to one, however, the experience changes signficantly from game to game, show to show. And with that segue, the Giants still played pretty poorly last night, but the Cubs are so busy self-destructing that they won anyway. Winning is good, might give 'em some ideas for tonight and then some mojo for the weekend, not unlike a steam locomotive rollin' down the track.

Brother Bob said...

I only saw The Dead once, at Kezar Stadium circa '72. The opening act was New Riders of the Purple Sage. I sat on the field and all around me people were smoking pot but no one ever offered me any. The sun was out and I hadn't prepared for that, so I got one of the worst sunburns in my life. By the time the Dead took the stage I was in agony and I couldn't stay for very long. So I might have enjoyed it if I were stoned and/or not in pain.

Anonymous said...

I never go anywhere.

JC Parsons said...

I agree with Zo in that the real story of last night was the continuing death of the cubbies. They have lost 11 of 12! Total disaster season; which means the cubs are pretty much like the aforementioned steam locomotive...GOOOONNNNNEEE, and nothin's gonna bring 'em back.

Doesn't Jerry look like a big rabbi? Which Jerry, anyway? Like Elvis, I picture Jerry several different ways.

Also, Bro: Many Deadheads consider the shows in '72 to be some of the the best ever. So, you probably saw an incredible show.